...And There's your sign

Have you ever had a conversation with someone after they have asked for advise and then they answered their own question arguing with you about what you have told them the exact same thing and they STILL don't see it? I spend a lot of time with my palm on my forehead. Things would be so simple if people would actually SEE what they are saying instead of feeling. I love my friends and family so much, sometimes it hurts to see them in so much pain. I have to back away and know in my heart that some lessons are tough and have to be learned. The more they fight the harder it is for them to learn.

To my friends and family, if you ask my advise and I freely give it only to be argued with, I have only this to say: If you are not prepared to look at yourself as the problem then the problem will surely stay. You exhaust me and drain my energies. I know you don't mean to, and I suppose that is partly my fault for allowing it to happen. I care to much sometimes.

....and there is my sign. I have talked myself into my own answer to my problem. There is such thing as caring to much. I have to just "let it be".

What are you saying, exactly?

Today I was reading many comments made about pictures posted on a friends page. I have never seen so many passive aggressive, backhanded comments in all my days! I don't know how my friend can live with these people around her. Have we become such an insensitive society we cant even give an honest compliment or say what is really on our minds? "Oh I would never do that, but Im not judging you" "That babies eyes are so perfect", I want to slap the shit out of people who say such things.

You would think that the babies eyes are beautiful, but saying that they are perfect is like saying every other baby has imperfect eyes. Seriously, think about this. You are setting up a kid from birth by saying stupid shit like this. I know its "meant" to be a compliment but you are singling the baby out by putting others down making the baby a target for bullying later on in life. And For the life of Christ, if you are comparing me to what you do, YOU ARE JUDGING ME. Shame on you! Who died and made you the most high almighty on earth and in the universe that I am to be compared to what you do and then shrugged off as being imperfect.

I know we all can be guilty of this from time to time but my poor friend seems to get more than her fair share of it. Watching her make excuses for these people has made me realize that we have grown to just accept bad behavior. Fair warning, I don't and wont accept it. I would rather you be truthful than, say back handed crap like that. Oh and being southern is no excuse either. If you say something is lovely you better damn well mean it, because if you don't I'm going to rip your ass from stem to stern for trying to be "cute". When you mean to insult someone, come right out with it. Don't you dare play that "I am far to polite to hurt someone else's feelings" crap. I'm not buying it. We are not here to rewrite the dictionary and redefine words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If it is something that you think shouldn't be said, then keep your stinking mouth shut.

Bird of Prey

A hawk came to me yesterday. He made sure I noticed him. He about dove into my car through the windshield. He came from the upper left, cut sideways and down straight to the car. When he was within two inches of the windshield he made a very sharp cut to the right and up. I could have counted every feather if the moment was frozen in time. Hawk is a bird of prey. He sees things from great distances and doesn't exclude anything within his range. It is said that the Eagle carried our messages to the spirits and hawk delivers the messages from spirit to us. When hawk come to someone it means a message must be delivered. Hawk also gets attacked my small birds who flock to drive the bird of prey out of nesting areas. It could have been a warning for me. When I got to where I was going I soon learned that it was more of a message but Im not sure what the message was and who it was for. I will have to wait and see in time how this works out. It is all so strange to me as I have never had contact with any bird of prey.

Following the Directions

Today was an experience. A young friend asked me to spend a couple of ours with him because he needed to talk to someone. I agreed to meet him at the local coffee bar. From the moment he came in I could read him like a book. His whole being was in distress and in a panic. I remembered what the Tarot card reading said. "You draw unstable people to you. You need to help those who are willing to help themselves with the right information given to them" and "you should be in some sort of healing profession". I thought okay, here we go. Lets see how this works.

I hugged him hello bought him a coffee and put on my "Shamans" robe (visible only to me). After about 2 hours of explaining why he has to do what I'm telling him to do it seemed like he got it. He then got up and excused himself for a moment. The gentlemen sitting behind my dear friend, turned around and told me that I was giving him some very sound advise. I replied with a simple "I hope so because he is like my adopted son. I would hate to steer him wrong".

I gotta say, it is very hard not to let my ego get pumped a bit. It's not the first time I have seen someone of my "tribe", but it is the first time I have done it in general public. Having been the first time and get a pat on the back for it was just amazing. I come home only to be asked for help again by someone different. I feel so rewarded in doing this. I have worked so hard to expand my talent and education without a school. I don't know if anyone will ever really know how much I have put into this with little acknowledgement. To have so much in one day was nothing short of spirit affirmation. What an interesting week.

birthday readings

I had two different readings done in the same day. One was in Runes and the other Tarot. The Runes were spot on and rather no nonsense kind of reading. Informed me of the most amazing things, and basically told me to shut my thinking and go with the flow. The Tarot reading made a suggestion for me to be in a health field. Well duh! its what I do, I just don't get paid for it. It just took me off guard that I asked about career and it gave me that. I asked about a spirit guide and gave me the same answer as the Runes reading did. I asked the cards about a future move and it gave me "mid west farther away than 8 months... why 8 months I dont know... odd. mid west? really? hmmmm dunno bout all that. Im not fond of the mid west. All in all I am pretty excited about it all.

This Year

I want to be naughty
I want to be nice
I want to be fire
I want to be ice

I want to be sober
While I am drunk
I want to be mainstream
and dress like a punk

I want to contribute
and stay in my cave
I want to be a stranger
tell me your name

I want to be crazy
I want to be free
I want to be wise
I want to be me