In the mist of this foggy morning, rain begins to fall. It is the end of harvest and we are all settling in for winter. The holiday tree has been decorated. Not for us but for those who will be visiting in the coming weeks. It is time to share what we have worked so hard all year for. I will bake, clean, and cook for as many people as care to stop by to spread cheer. This coming month is for friends and family as well as total strangers. This is the month that my ancestral blood kicks in and allows me to welcome good folk with open arms into my life.
Blessed be to those who care for those less fortunate. Blessed be to those for forgive past arguments. And blessed be who love, regardless of condition.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
If Today Was Your Last Day
I woke up this morning with the realization that today could be my last day alive. How would I spend today? My heart sank. There are so many things I would love to say to so many people. I have done what I can do but I haven't said what I could or should say.
Today I am going to say what I need to say.
To Dennis:
You have taught me to laugh at myself. I dont know if you know how important that is. You do it so often its second nature to you. You are the only person I know who seriously knows how to laugh.... at everything. Life is a funny thing and its meant to be enjoyed. Do me a favor...go enjoy it. He who laughs last is the last one laughing. Laughing is good when you have someone to share it with.
To Robyn,
Robyn you are like my sister. I love you and so much of what you do reminds me of my mom. That is a good thing because you made me remember how much I loved my mother. Sure we had our fights and sure we had our differences but I loved her. Just as I love you.
Frances,
Dear friend. You remind me to be gentle with people. You have taught me that not everyone thinks the same and thats ok. I used to think everyone was so different than me. You have taught me that I am the same as everyone else and I am not a stranger to this world.
Sean,
My gayband LOL the one who can inject humor into any situation and make me laugh after you hit the button that will send me into a tizzy. You have such an impact on peoples lives. You spread the ever so unpopular hand of opposite thinking. You teach as well as love. You are a world apart. Just dont ever forget your world isnt the only world people see.
To my online coven:
I treasure the sacred space created in trust and love. That sounds so Wiccan but believe me its from the heart not some spell book with 101 listed in it. Always remember what the group stands for and how comfortable being small is.
To Raventalker:
You are such a gift to the world. The words you give reach the very soul of me. I have cried over how selfish I have been when I see you put to print what my heart has been screaming at me. I could never be as gracious and kind. You are like no other and it is pure pleasure to have been in your presence even for a day.
To Bucky:
Friend for life. You are one of a kind. I love you. and thank you. Do what makes you happy. Money doesnt matter in the end. Now crack some form of sarcasm and let Doug glare at you. It makes me laugh.
To Tim:
Bro? good grief! let it go. Forget the garbage all the world has and just love. Love with all your heart. Be whole. Forget about politics and religion and business. Just love. In the end thats all there is, and if you dont have it what do you have? Remember how we laughed reading the dictionary? Remember when you bought yellow dog for me when I was sick? THATS love! its selfless and all consuming. Let it take over like it used to do.
To Brian:
Most people saw me running from difficult situations because they saw me "afraid" of them. Thats not what it was. What I was running from was, making people uncomfortable with myself. I figured if I stayed away I wouldnt hurt the people I loved so very much. I had it in my brain that my personality was more damaging to others than to myself and if I hurt as bad as I did I couldnt imagine how badly I hurt others...so I stayed away. I stayed away because I love you. I now know I was so wrong. I am so sorry.
To Dan,
Fuck you! nuff said! if I ever see you again it will be to soon. Oh and by the way. If I die before you, Im haunting your ass til your head splits.
To my children:
I did what I could. Keep your heads held high and always know I never stopped loving you no matter what! code kisses!
To Tess
My adopted sis. Stop fretting so much. I dont know anyone who worries as much as you do, not even me. (and thats saying something) I know its hard but worry makes it worse. Love with all you have, smile and enjoy today. Always enjoy today.
And Finally Doug:
My heart and soul, my life and death. Take a deep breath, dont count, just let it out. Feel the air, feel the life, feel me. I will be with you always. I know I nag you some, but thats what a wife is supposed to do right? You always asked me to be myself. Im still not sure who that is but I can say you have brought me closer to knowing more than anyone else ever has. A gift I could never repay. I only hope that I have touched you the same way you have touched me. The only other thing I think I should say is "dont wait" life is to short. You dont have to be sure of something to be happy about it. Ride with the waves and enjoy. I love you. I love you. I love you. With all I am and ever will be.
Today I am going to say what I need to say.
To Dennis:
You have taught me to laugh at myself. I dont know if you know how important that is. You do it so often its second nature to you. You are the only person I know who seriously knows how to laugh.... at everything. Life is a funny thing and its meant to be enjoyed. Do me a favor...go enjoy it. He who laughs last is the last one laughing. Laughing is good when you have someone to share it with.
To Robyn,
Robyn you are like my sister. I love you and so much of what you do reminds me of my mom. That is a good thing because you made me remember how much I loved my mother. Sure we had our fights and sure we had our differences but I loved her. Just as I love you.
Frances,
Dear friend. You remind me to be gentle with people. You have taught me that not everyone thinks the same and thats ok. I used to think everyone was so different than me. You have taught me that I am the same as everyone else and I am not a stranger to this world.
Sean,
My gayband LOL the one who can inject humor into any situation and make me laugh after you hit the button that will send me into a tizzy. You have such an impact on peoples lives. You spread the ever so unpopular hand of opposite thinking. You teach as well as love. You are a world apart. Just dont ever forget your world isnt the only world people see.
To my online coven:
I treasure the sacred space created in trust and love. That sounds so Wiccan but believe me its from the heart not some spell book with 101 listed in it. Always remember what the group stands for and how comfortable being small is.
To Raventalker:
You are such a gift to the world. The words you give reach the very soul of me. I have cried over how selfish I have been when I see you put to print what my heart has been screaming at me. I could never be as gracious and kind. You are like no other and it is pure pleasure to have been in your presence even for a day.
To Bucky:
Friend for life. You are one of a kind. I love you. and thank you. Do what makes you happy. Money doesnt matter in the end. Now crack some form of sarcasm and let Doug glare at you. It makes me laugh.
To Tim:
Bro? good grief! let it go. Forget the garbage all the world has and just love. Love with all your heart. Be whole. Forget about politics and religion and business. Just love. In the end thats all there is, and if you dont have it what do you have? Remember how we laughed reading the dictionary? Remember when you bought yellow dog for me when I was sick? THATS love! its selfless and all consuming. Let it take over like it used to do.
To Brian:
Most people saw me running from difficult situations because they saw me "afraid" of them. Thats not what it was. What I was running from was, making people uncomfortable with myself. I figured if I stayed away I wouldnt hurt the people I loved so very much. I had it in my brain that my personality was more damaging to others than to myself and if I hurt as bad as I did I couldnt imagine how badly I hurt others...so I stayed away. I stayed away because I love you. I now know I was so wrong. I am so sorry.
To Dan,
Fuck you! nuff said! if I ever see you again it will be to soon. Oh and by the way. If I die before you, Im haunting your ass til your head splits.
To my children:
I did what I could. Keep your heads held high and always know I never stopped loving you no matter what! code kisses!
To Tess
My adopted sis. Stop fretting so much. I dont know anyone who worries as much as you do, not even me. (and thats saying something) I know its hard but worry makes it worse. Love with all you have, smile and enjoy today. Always enjoy today.
And Finally Doug:
My heart and soul, my life and death. Take a deep breath, dont count, just let it out. Feel the air, feel the life, feel me. I will be with you always. I know I nag you some, but thats what a wife is supposed to do right? You always asked me to be myself. Im still not sure who that is but I can say you have brought me closer to knowing more than anyone else ever has. A gift I could never repay. I only hope that I have touched you the same way you have touched me. The only other thing I think I should say is "dont wait" life is to short. You dont have to be sure of something to be happy about it. Ride with the waves and enjoy. I love you. I love you. I love you. With all I am and ever will be.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Wal-Mart
WAKE UP AMERICA! Wal-Mart is forcing other businesses out of business! Its not about lower prices, its about c getting the small businessman out of America. Do you think I am wrong? Try this out for size.
Wal-Mart opened a store in this small town I live in. The local art shop only lasted six months. There is no way a small store can compete with the global economy of hiring workers from China to make your product for you. Now that the local art supply stores in the area are all gone, Wal-Mart is getting rid of their art supply section. What are the artist suppose to do? This might not seem like a big deal to you, after all its only art right? what if they put all the electronic stores out of business and stopped carrying electronics? They have shut down local butcher shops, hardware stores and auto mechanics shops. what will happen to us when they say they wont supply us with these services anymore? We will be like old Russia standing in line for bread and soup and toilet paper because we wont have jobs or businesses and we will be "told" what we can and cant have.
Wal-Mart opened a store in this small town I live in. The local art shop only lasted six months. There is no way a small store can compete with the global economy of hiring workers from China to make your product for you. Now that the local art supply stores in the area are all gone, Wal-Mart is getting rid of their art supply section. What are the artist suppose to do? This might not seem like a big deal to you, after all its only art right? what if they put all the electronic stores out of business and stopped carrying electronics? They have shut down local butcher shops, hardware stores and auto mechanics shops. what will happen to us when they say they wont supply us with these services anymore? We will be like old Russia standing in line for bread and soup and toilet paper because we wont have jobs or businesses and we will be "told" what we can and cant have.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
We Need Help
this is a picture posted by the Times Picayune NOLA.com
It is a picture of Dan Walter Kerry who was shot and killed going to a local fair on Sunday. He was just 16 years old.
In the past 3 days there have been five people shot and killed in the New Orleans area. These have been individual instances that have somehow gripped my heart. Most of the murders are teens. Think about it TEENS! What were you doing at 14, 16, 18? I was going to football games, homecoming dances, rollerskating and hanging out with my friends at slumber parties. Sure we drank a beer once in a while but we stayed out of major trouble. It is hard for me to comprehend that these people are involved with things that are getting them killed at such a young age. Further more, its hard to believe I live here watching it go down. Tuesday night and a 17 year old is lying dead in the street. How could anyone put anything over a life?
Thugs have no respect for life until its their own that has been taken or dissed. Can't dis a homey ya know what I'm sayin? (as they cock a pistol and point it your way) When did life get so unimportant? How does an entire mentality snap and think money or even words are more important than life? I just dont understand.
I weep for the people who live in this kind of culture. I weep for the dead and I weep for those who kill. May the gods grant safety to the ones who dont want to live there and cant leave. I wish we could just shout STOP and have it be so.
5 dead in 3 days.... 5 dead in 3 days..... 5 dead..... and I cry because tomorrow is another day that I will look in the crime section and probably see another story that says "police are asking for any information about this shooting please call crime stoppers" then it will be 6 dead in 4 days.
STOP!
Monday, November 8, 2010
shout
shout shout let it all out, these are the thing I can do without come on Im talking to you come on.
In violent times, you shouldn't have to sell your soul. In black and white, they really really ought to know,
those one track minds that took you for a working whore, kiss them goodbye you shouldn't have to jump for joy you shouldn't have to shout for joy.
they gave you life, and in return you gave them hell. as cold as ice I hope we live to tell the tale.
and when you've taken down your guard, If I could change your mind,
I'd really like to break your heart. I'd really like to shake your heart.
its a simple song, what does it mean? I believe it means in order for there to be change there has to be some sort of turmoil. and they are asking why. Why indeed. why must it be this way? why cant we just move past all the crap. Why must people die in order for the rest of us to know how to live? Why must there be hate in order for us to know what love is? what an insane place we live in.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
HATE
It has occurred to me that some people are filled with so much hate that they tend to twist everything ever taught them.
I was involved in a conversation with someone about the native Americans and the pilgrims/puritans. My knowledge of the puritans is that 1/2 of them died. They knew nothing of the land. The natives taught them how to survive. Thanksgiving was born.
The person I was having a conversation with refused to celebrate thanksgiving because the whites killed the natives and she wouldnt celebrate that. She refused to believe that the pilgrims were thankful of the lessons learned in how to survive here.
Pardon me but WTF? How much self hate can a person have that she could put that hate into history of the first pilgrims whos lives were saved. I was told that I have rose colored glasses and that I dont see the truth. Again WTF?
Squanto the native American who spoke English because he was a slave in England years before, took mercy on the Puritans. I celebrate the Native culture and their acceptance of us. http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving it is a remarkable story.
and to the person filled with hate... screw your self hatred, I love the Native American people, their generosity, kindnesses and knowledge of the land. I am thankful for the friendships made in history and in present. I will not be a part of the growing hatred about my culture and what my ancestors have done. I can only be me. My path is a path I want to bridge over the wrong. I dont deny that wrong has happened but I am not going to forget the good because of the bad either.
I was involved in a conversation with someone about the native Americans and the pilgrims/puritans. My knowledge of the puritans is that 1/2 of them died. They knew nothing of the land. The natives taught them how to survive. Thanksgiving was born.
The person I was having a conversation with refused to celebrate thanksgiving because the whites killed the natives and she wouldnt celebrate that. She refused to believe that the pilgrims were thankful of the lessons learned in how to survive here.
Pardon me but WTF? How much self hate can a person have that she could put that hate into history of the first pilgrims whos lives were saved. I was told that I have rose colored glasses and that I dont see the truth. Again WTF?
Squanto the native American who spoke English because he was a slave in England years before, took mercy on the Puritans. I celebrate the Native culture and their acceptance of us. http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving it is a remarkable story.
and to the person filled with hate... screw your self hatred, I love the Native American people, their generosity, kindnesses and knowledge of the land. I am thankful for the friendships made in history and in present. I will not be a part of the growing hatred about my culture and what my ancestors have done. I can only be me. My path is a path I want to bridge over the wrong. I dont deny that wrong has happened but I am not going to forget the good because of the bad either.
Monday, November 1, 2010
October is over
I missed the Samhain coven gathering and for that I am so sad. I must say, I had a blast doing the haunted house. I got so good at scaring I even made a couple of co workers jump LOL. Who knew I had this in me?
Spiritually its been an exhausting month. I have banished a conjured demon and its conjurer I have cast out spirits from a house where the young people were going crazy with worry about the spirits being evil. (silly people) I have rescued some very curious people doing wrong things for wrong reasons... Im tired and need a break.
Spiritually its been an exhausting month. I have banished a conjured demon and its conjurer I have cast out spirits from a house where the young people were going crazy with worry about the spirits being evil. (silly people) I have rescued some very curious people doing wrong things for wrong reasons... Im tired and need a break.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)