According to the physical I have just had I seem to be riddled with stress. I found this to be unreasonable because what do I have to be stressed over? I dont work, I have a very stable marriage, I sit at home and dont do much at all. Sure I work in my spiritual practice but that for me is mostly everyday living. Then it dawned on me. Whats wrong with this picture? I am in control of nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sure I would be taken care of in the event of some horrible accident and I lost my husband, but what would I do with myself? What do I do now? EEEK! the thought is frightening. Im living on the edge of a very uncertain cliff. One wrong step or a small earthquake and Im done for. Back to the streets I would be. GOSH that is stressful.
I dont do well in business situations which is why I havent gone back to work. Im going to school to become an artist but who knows where thats going to lead me. Im stressed about the unknown. In my heart I live by "what ever will be will be" but in my head its panic city. I am going out on a business adventure and I dont know where its going to land me, but I am going to give it my best shot. I will need so much support and encouragement to beat back the negative thoughts that I have had pounded into my head for years. I have to be able to support myself in order to be free from stress. I have never been able to support myself so this is huge. Really huge.
so for now I am setting some spiritual stuff aside and getting up on my feet. There has to be balance or I am no good to anyone. Now that I know Im out of balance I must work to correct it.
blessings to you all
LAdy Raven
PS Im not going to stop my blog, there will just be more of my journey in it as well as any spiritual work I do.
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