I feel like this rose. Old, passed it's prime but still looks and smells like a rose. Its best time is over but its not dead. to me this is beautiful and worth painting.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
hope
I feel like this rose. Old, passed it's prime but still looks and smells like a rose. Its best time is over but its not dead. to me this is beautiful and worth painting.
realization
I have suddenly and quite abruptly come to understand where my depression is coming from. In a years and a half's time I lost my mother, my husband, my home, my best friend, and then my children. How does one recover from that? Can someone recover from it? If it had all happened at once in a freak accident I might be able to grasp it better.
They say the most stressful things to live through is a death, a divorce, loss of friendship, illness, and poverty. in 18 months time I had all of them. I am still not over it. Sometimes I feel like Im in the acceptance stage and then I get sad and angry again. I wish I could explain to people what this feels like. I have surrounded myself with other people who are just as damaged. I dont know if that is a good thing or not
Meditation helps me stay calm but it doesnt help the damaged part of me. hmmmmmm
Monday, March 19, 2012
fed up from the floor up
I am tired. I am sick and tired. I do not wish to deal with it anymore. Im over it.
I have reached the stage where I am just wanting to be numb. I am tired of dealing with stupid animals doing stupid things. Stupid people doing stupid things and me always having to deal with it personally. I am OVER IT. I cant fix stupid! If the dog dies from being stupid then so be it. If a person dies from being stupid then so be it. the Darwin award tonight goes to the little smart dog who insists on making herself sick by eating lizards and toads and cockroaches. If she wants to dehydrate her self by puking then so be it. I am over the antics. If you are in an abusive relationship stop making excuses for the abuser. Stop being stupid by thinking its worth keeping the relationship alive because of "the good times". In the future there will be no good times it will all be bad and you will end up being miserable. I know I have lived almost 50 years. I know I can be cranky... but dammit if you are so damn smart learn from the mistakes of others and save yourself AND ME the trouble!
I have reached the stage where I am just wanting to be numb. I am tired of dealing with stupid animals doing stupid things. Stupid people doing stupid things and me always having to deal with it personally. I am OVER IT. I cant fix stupid! If the dog dies from being stupid then so be it. If a person dies from being stupid then so be it. the Darwin award tonight goes to the little smart dog who insists on making herself sick by eating lizards and toads and cockroaches. If she wants to dehydrate her self by puking then so be it. I am over the antics. If you are in an abusive relationship stop making excuses for the abuser. Stop being stupid by thinking its worth keeping the relationship alive because of "the good times". In the future there will be no good times it will all be bad and you will end up being miserable. I know I have lived almost 50 years. I know I can be cranky... but dammit if you are so damn smart learn from the mistakes of others and save yourself AND ME the trouble!
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