Just Desserts

Tick tick round the clock
Time is on my side

You cast me away
Then begged me to stay
Now all you have is your pride

My tears I shed were honest ones
To bad they fell on deaf ears
You cared not of me
Or others you see
This time we did not fear


I am well and You are not
I cannot complain of a thing
It is a pleasure to see your evil ways
Have made the mess you are in.


I cast not a thing to come your way
I cast not a thing to get them to stay
I merely wished that I could belong
Then all I did was sing a song

The Earth the Air the Fire the Water
Return Return Return Return...

And they have.

Equinox Dinner

The celebration has begun. Tonight at midnight I will be having a supper of squash pork steaks and baked apples.
The 22nd marks the changing of the seasons and celebration of harvest being over. Now its time to stock and store. It is my favorite time of year. Nothing makes me more happy than green, orange, red, yellow brown and even some black showing up all over the place. I have set out to visit the north next week for a short time just to get a breath of fresh air and taste of the old life. My bones are shaking with excitement more than ever before. I cant say that I understand it but I know its going to be good.

Autumn Blessings of brown sugar, apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, hot drinks, and warm book stoves.
val

The Hard Choices

Today was a day of sadness for me. I realized that I have no family left. They are alive and well (most of them) but I cannot sit by and act like I am a part of them. Bigotry, hate, zealots, total consumption of everything I am not. For some it is easy being the "black sheep" but for me its very sad. I have a twin who I love more than anything and my twin has grown into a monster. Hate has consumed him. I feel like 1/2 of me has died.

When I wrote "I am but one who stands alone" I thought I was writing about my beliefs. It would seem it was more of a prophesy of my relationship status with my family.

For the love of all that is was and ever will be, I will not go back on what I believe for the sake of family. For the love that is was and always will be I will hope....one day....things will change for the better

Temptress Be Gone spell

temptress listen
and hear me good
if you play with fire
you will get burned,
as you should

you have pushed me farther
than I wanted to go
now you will pay
with nothing to show

no pride no servitude
no happiness be
no value no master
will deal with thee

your home will be
as you wish others to be
broken and solitude
now do you harken me?

your will has decided
what your fate will be
fuck with a witch
and your fate becomes three

History As Fact

I know this is going to be controversial at best but Im going to put this out there. History is full of crap. For that matter science is too. Okay some things are good to know in these subjects if you have to pass a test in college. For the most part its all crap.

Follow me if you will. History is told by people who either learned it from other historians, or experienced it first hand. Unless the person who tells the story lived both sides of an incident there is no way it can be accurate. Then there are those who see it one way, then try to see it another way and make logical assumptions. These are the peopleI can admire for their trying to understand, at least they try and not base everything on what a book or what someone else told them.

World war 2 is a good example. I grew up an American learning American ways and listening to American history. Our involvement in the war started when we got bombed at Pearl Harbor. I was taught that the reason we got involved with Germany was because Hitler was such a horrible man. I then learned that the reason we invaded Germany was not because Hitler was killing innocent people, but because they struck a deal with Japan.
Then I met Eleanor. A lady who grew up in Nazi Germany as a non Jewish German. Her history was something I never heard of. Her history taught her that the Jewish people had most of the control of the finances in Germany and it put panic and fear into the government. America stood for such chaos and capitalism and so America was to be feared because we had military power. We were the threat to their downfall. And thats why Germany struck a deal with Japan. Germany couldnt handle everything on their own.

Seeing this small section of history from two different perspectives made me understand that it is never correctly told "after the fact" (its the old addage, history is told by the survivors) And to teach or learn something as fact when it is only one sided is never all the facts. Even when we can draw a logical assumption to things doesn't mean its fact, they are only opinions...

...and we all know that means, everyones got one.

On to science....

A major pet peave of mine are these shows on television recreating days of the dinosaur, or how the earth was made and such nonsense. These programs drive me insane. Alright Im not a schollar, I am a simple minded person with the belief that there is no way anyone can know that this dino ate that dino and that dino feared this dino and they all died when this happened. Im sorry I just dont buy it. Sure we can make logical deductions by looking at teeth and structure but its a LOGICAL DEDUCTION....nothing more than an educated guess.
The earth is said to be _______ years old by this scientist and _______ by that scientist. The fact is NOBODY knows how old the earth is or how it was made or developed. We have limited minds and only a small understanding of how it all works. Science is a study of trying to understand something that our minds have limited access to. Just because science says something is fact, doesnt make it so. How many times have you known the logic of science to change?

Pluto is a prime example. We all grew up with "knowing" there were nine planets. Now because of science we dont have nine planets. And yet they are still stating information as fact. We only have 8 planets in our galaxy, well 3 years ago we had nine....whos to say more planets dont develop and we have twelve tomorrow? Impossible? Not if you think the big bang theory is fact, and whos to say its not? How can we know?

When someone comes at me with a lot of book knowledge and nothing else I have to roll my eyes and hold my breath. These people who I know are very well learned in mans voices never heard a tree talk, never felt the magic of energy effectivly flowing to make a change, They dont believe in spell work as anything other than mental games and trickery. The wonder and life has been taken out of their sails. They LIVE for the next scientific discovery or story coming from some old person or book instead of living life for themselves.

infact ...the fact of the matter is "fact" shouldnt even be a word, it is to literal and close minded. There should be a word that means "as we know it to be" meaning it could change with more knowledge.

A Spell For Stalkers

bird within the gilded cage
free yourself and fly away
find yourself a new place to play
to spread your sorrow another day

heed this warning and leave him alone
wrap your heart and take it home
scatter your mind away from him
or shattered your will, will be after the sin

complex I know you heart to be
harken me now to follow these three

1 to leave a soul in peace
2 to have a life of ease
3 is for your evil ways

shed them now and for all days

A Different Way Of Thinking

get rid of self and become what is around you. I never understood it until I saw my self as something other than my person. self isnt my person self is what I believe my person to be.

when you become at one with what is around you and lose self you become "not self" but what is. does that make sense?

My Favorite Poem of All Time

Dawn of light lying between the silence and sold sources
Chased amid fusions of wonder
In moments hardly seen forgotten
Colors in pastures of chance dancing
Leaves cast spells of challenge
Amused but real in thought
We fled from the sea whole

Dawn of thought transferred through moments of days under searching earth
Revealing corridors of time provoking memories
Disjointed but with purpose
Craving penetrations offer links with the self instructors sharp and tender love
As we took to the air
A picture of distance

Dawn of our power we amuse
Re descending as fast as misused expressions
As only to teach love
As to reveal passion chasing late into corridors
And we danced from the ocean

Dawn of love sent within us colors of awakening
among the many want to follow
Only tunes of a different age
As the links span our endless caresses for the freedom of life everlasting


this was written by John Anderson and Steve Howe (not bad for a couple of rock artists eh? read into the words and see where it takes you. I think they are shamanic myself.

Coffee and Cigarettes

Contemplating my contempt
Trying to understand the why of it all
What was the reason of my being here?

Staring at the world outside
Over a cold cup of coffee
And a cigarette

No one to understand
What the meaning of existence is
The life we all endure

We're born
We die
Everyone cries

Over a cold cup of coffee
And a cigarette

Instincts

August September October, these months bring thoughts of falling leaves, going back to school, cool crisp air, arts and craft shows and so much more. Traditionally its the harvest season and by October all the food for the winter months should be up and stored in a cool dry place. At the end of October the air turns to a crispness as it prepares us for winter. The grass turns brown and leaves have fallen, birds have started to migrate south to warmer places. Everything has the appearance of being dead. If thats so, then why is there excitement in the air?

When I lived in the Northern climate this was the time of year the deer and elk started to go into rut. I too notice that there seems to be this overwhelming "thing" that drives me to be homesick and more passionate at this time of year every year. Could it be that we as people do have instincts that follow the seasons? We always say follow your instincts, but what does that mean? Is a hunch an instinct? or a feeling? Lets look at the definition of the word.


instinct (n.) An inborn pattern of behavior that is characteristic of a species and is often a response to specific environmental stimuli: the spawning instinct in salmon; altruistic instincts in social animals. instinct (n.) A powerful motivation or impulse.

1. Natural inward impulse; unconscious, involuntary, or unreasoning prompting to any mode of action, whether bodily, or mental, without a distinct apprehension of the end or object to be accomplished.
An instinct is a propensity prior to experience, and independent of instructions. --Paley.
An instinct is a blind tendency to some mode of action, independent of any consideration, on the part of the agent, of the end to which the action leads. --Whately.
An instinct is an agent which performs blindly and ignorantly a work of intelligence and knowledge. --Sir W. Hamilton.
By a divine instinct, men's minds mistrust Ensuing dangers. --Shak.
2. (Zo["o]l.) Specif., the natural, unreasoning, impulse by which an animal is guided to the performance of any action, without of improvement in the method.
The resemblance between what originally was a habit, and an instinct becomes so close as not to be distinguished. --Darwin.
3. A natural aptitude or knack; a predilection; as, an instinct for order; to be modest by instinct.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Taking these examples can you say you have them? I always want to start hording food in the fall. I also get this unbelievable urge to make blankets. Being in the south that is a bit over the top but I was raised in the north. My instincts tell me to gather and prepare. Around here people gather and prepare in the summer. Its just something that happens.
In any case, all Im saying is that we are one with the earth. The areas we live in and the climate seems to dictate our activity more than we might think. Listen to your instincts and observe them in afterthought. It is another excellent way to learn about yourself

Being Angry

Last night I was told a joke I didnt find amusing. It was a racial joke about how "some" people can be incompetent. I became livid very very very quickly. By doing so I found that more people found my reaction to be less than appropriate. Needless to say I found a rather large group of people who I will no longer consider my friends. On the other hand many others I never knew shared the same views then spoke up.

All it takes is one brave soul to speak their mind and so many then come forth.

a sheep I am not, I might be a herder but Im not the sheep