new guide?

For the past month I have been inundated with spiders. They seem to be everywhere. I didn't think a thing of it until I went to Florida to visit my brother. My visit was a two fold visit. I needed to see him to reunite as a family, but I also needed to find out more about a business. With the extra time away from the business, we went on a nature walk. I was told to expect to see birds, butterflies, lizards, crabs and spiders. What was so impressive was not just the amount of spiders but the massive size of them. As if they were screaming at me. Anyway, the visit went very well and I didn't want it to end. I came home when the weekend was over and got back into my routine. Sitting in the living room spending time on the laptop as I do daily, more spiders started crawling all over me. I have never been bitten. Doug made mention I might have a new guide. With that notion I looked it up.

Spider totem speaks of weaving the knowledge of the past to the possibilities of the future. Spider also reminds us that we don't have to be tied to what people think of us but to be open for new experiences to become whole.

I don't know about you but the uncanny timing of all these spiders is remarkable. I see myself as an artist/spiritualist. I dress as expected, in long flowing easy clothing reminiscent of the hippies of the sixties. I think of myself as most would think of me, kind of trippy and not always intelligent when it comes to things like math. During the business meetings I found myself grasping things that most (including me) would think I would struggle with. I went shopping in the elite shopping spots and loved it, which is also against what I am supposed to "stand for". I have a love for nature and a love for urban living. It would seem I am being shown that this is supposed to happen for me. I don't have to fit into a perfect box set out for the hippie artist. I have so many things I love and put aside because it is not "expected" of me. I still don't like diamonds. And roses just to have them in a vase is a waste, but I do love the Gothic youth, heavy make up, dyed black hair, short skirts and torn up T-shirts. I do love the flowing dresses and big bulky semi precious stone jewelry too. These things are just my personality trying to get out and make itself known. They represent the very essence of me. I am extreme in my tastes and don't much care for anything that makes a bland statement. THAT is who I am, not hippie, not goth, not simpleton, not occultist. I am a tarty smarty who is learning to stand loud and proud. I am orange not beige, I am the red door on a log home.

I smell a shift coming and I'm sure some people from my past are not going to like it. I am growing, I have to grow, I cannot stand stagnant and let life pass me by. People tend not to like the unfamiliar. When I notice something needs to change I don't do it slowly for others to keep up. I do it quickly for me because I don't like spending time in a rut if I know the rut is there. Spider has reminded me that what people have thought of me in the past is not who I am and to stop allowing a memory to dictate who I will become. I can be an artist/business person with a mind of my own willing to adapt to the thoughts of the future and still stay true to my spiritual practice. I doubt it is going to be easy, but what is good that ever came easy?