journaling

I have posted some things in the past that have hinted to my meanderings insecurities and general lack of direction. I have discovered there is a reason for this. I am in something of a mid life crisis that I seem to have been experiencing my entire life. I have no direction, no real purpose anymore. I have no education, no career, not even a simple job and little hope of ever getting any of these. I have been seeking out something since I was 16 without any luck as to find even a hint of what it is I am looking for. Lately I have been struggling with depression and self worth. I see little importance of my very being.

That being said, I still carry on, searching and hoping for the best. I wonder what could happen in my future. I wonder what is worth the risks that sometime appear before me and wonder if I should take advantage of them. I wonder who my life affects that makes my life worth living. I press on both physically and spiritually hoping to make some sort of a difference.