Crow Calls

There is nothing you can hide when the Crow comes to call. He will announce his arrival like the trumpets sounding for royalty. The messages he brings are dreaded for most, including me. He has come to let me know of my wounds that I would rather not acknowledge. He has come to heal me in spite of how I manage. He has come to tell me I must further seek the depths and darkness in order to see the light.
The Corvidae have been my soul's haunted embrace. I am comfortable among the trees and on land with the jags and the bears, it would seem I am called to fly...and I am afraid.

My First and Most Powerful Spirit Guide

The blackest of all jaguars with the brightest of green eyes. She hunted and prowled waited and watched. When she knew I was ready she jumped me. Having her within me, as me, teaching me how strong she is and allowing me to experience how I can be if I choose to shift my ways. She has never left me and protected me in my time of need. She has taught me that I need to think for myself and forget about the ways of others. I am unique, like none other. As I lost my vision and my way, she sent other guides to teach me about the journey I am on and the path I have chosen. They are minors among the major. All of my teachers have had some aspect of her.

I feel her today as I maneuver a relationship of distrust and disgust. She has jumped in front of me and showed me that I do not have to be harmful to be angry and there is more power in being myself. She teaches me to be calculated and planned, creating a balance that will not upset my surroundings. She has taught me to put away childish reactions that will allow my want and need to escape me.

Walk in your truth

Walking in your truth is not as easy as it sounds. You have to know who you are. You have to know your strengths and your weaknesses. You have to know what you are willing to compromise and what you have to keep in order to be your own true self. I will never be one for greatness because, at my core, I don't like what I would have to become to get it. I am not an attention seeker willing to give that much of myself away. I am not a business head willing to trade my emotions for the sake of a business. I have no problem with those who do, it just is not my my thing. If I have no problem with these choices, then why should any of you have a problem with it? Sure you see greatness in me, I do too. But at what cost? Part of what makes me so different is that I refuse to be something that I am not. You see? I am not like all those other people you see on television. I am a behind the scenes kind of person. This is my truth. I function well there. I am free to be myself and do as I feel the right thing to do. Being in the limelight requires me to do things I normally wouldn't do. In a way I feel like the now infamous Phil Robertson. He signed up to be in the public eye and then the public asked him to stop being so public about his beliefs. Just what do people expect him to be? Change him to fit their own perception of what they think he should be? I am much to strong to allow that to happen to me. I have no fear in walking away when I am not comfortable. I have learned not to be angry or have my feelings hurt about it. Sometimes I stick my toe into water knowing it is the wrong temperature hoping I will get used to it. Sometimes that water feels more like cement. That is ok, I just con't go there that's all. No harm no foul.

raised in ignorance

I am ignorant. I openly admit it. I have used words without knowing what they meant. My God what people must think of me. My mom used to use the word pickininny so adoringly to describe me I had no idea it was a racial slur. Why would she use a racial slur so lovingly to describe me? I dont understand. I am ashamed I have used this term without knowing it was offensive. I am more confused that NOBODY told me it was offensive. I honestly didnt know. I can only ask for forgiveness of my ignorance and move on from here.

Something I would like to make clear

It has come to my attention that certain things I choose to not be a part of, people take personally. I have nothing against what other people do. To each their own. You should not have a problem with me not wanting to be a part of it. If you do, then that is your problem not mine. I will not join someone for them to feed their ego which is exactly what this behavior's reaction is all about. Nuff said... go feed your ego elsewhere... GRRRR

A Hard Week Indeed

It is February 2nd 2014. Superbowl Sunday, Candlemas, Imbolc, St Brigid's day and the end of one of the longest most emotional weeks I have had in years. I have 2 very dear friends in 2 separate states going through the same thing. They are going through the loss of their fathers. I was asked to help in any way I could. I am so close to these ladies that there was no way I could ever turn either of them down on any level. I have never really had a father to know what it feels like to lose a daddy so I had to tap into their pain and sorrow to know how to help. The sorrow and confusion is total and complete turmoil. As I am experiencing this I am also trying to put a party together and getting invitations out. As I was hand delivering an invitation I got bit by a dog. I am okay but it was very shocking. This morning my husband informs me that a spirit threw his coffee mug off his desk. The spatters of coffee all over the wall clearly said to me that "something" happened. Then he tried to blame me for inviting it. Oh yeah this thing isn't good. So I am going to have yet another house cleansing and I might have to perform some sort of "exit" ritual. I need help and don't know who I should ask. I also know I cant perform under the distress I have been under with the emotional stuff my friends are in.

Anyone know of a good team in the area who comes with their own spiritualist?