raised in ignorance

I am ignorant. I openly admit it. I have used words without knowing what they meant. My God what people must think of me. My mom used to use the word pickininny so adoringly to describe me I had no idea it was a racial slur. Why would she use a racial slur so lovingly to describe me? I dont understand. I am ashamed I have used this term without knowing it was offensive. I am more confused that NOBODY told me it was offensive. I honestly didnt know. I can only ask for forgiveness of my ignorance and move on from here.