Mothers Day Again

I sit here hoping for a call from one of my children on this day. I don't get a call for my birthday either. But I hope one day it will come.

I love my kids even if they don't remember, even if they don't want to talk to me. I love my kids so much I had to make a sacrifice. They needed a home and food. I couldn't provide that for them. I wanted to more than anything in the world. I didn't know how. Yes they can blame me for that I suppose. I suppose I should have known how to provide for them before I had them. I didn't know, and for that I am sorry. I did my best with what I had. The problem is I didn't have much. I am sorry I didn't have the knowledge to provide for my children. It doesn't mean I love them any less. Not having them live with me is the most difficult, heart breaking, mind splitting, almost impossible thing I have ever had to go through.

Being a mother is the hardest thing in the world to be. We see our children hurt and we have to teach them that this is a part of life even if we think it shouldn't have to be this way. We see our children march off to war knowing that if they come back alive they will never be the same. We see our children raise their children knowing the possibility of what happened to me could happen to them. As mothers we stand in hope, we stand in peace we stand to teach. we stand for love, however difficult it might be.

so I sit here waiting for a call, hoping... hoping...hoping