Monday, December 21, 2009

I try to be nice, and people just dont understand


after my doctors appointment i came home to have my 2nd cup of coffee. as i was sitting down to my laptop in the kitchen the door bell rang. forgetting about all caution i just opened the door to see who it was. there standing before me was a very nicely dressed lady with a large hand bag and what i thought was her hubby in a black suit. i thought maybe it was the real estate agent trying to get us to bring friends in to look at the house across the street again.

i was wrong. the JW's came a calling to my front door. i suppose the last couple of people who cruised the hood forgot to tell the new couple that Doug answered the door in the buff.

after the small speech she gave me. i invited them in for tea. they gladly stepped into my home and coming into my kitchen i walked over to my stove to heat the pot of water. the couple stopped dead in their tracks and said that they had to be going. i turned to ask why and they were gone . all i did was invite them in for tea..... bah...whats a woman to do these days? i cant get anyone over for tea anymore muahahahahaha.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

fear of losing christmas?

There seems to be a fear Christians have that just astounds me. Some Christians think that the non Christians are going to take away Christmas from them.
I live in America and in this country it is ok to practice any religion as long as you break no laws doing it. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ. Now unless you commit murder, abuse children, rape, or commit a robbery or some other such crime to celebrate Christmas I do not for see any problem with you keeping your holiday.
Frankly I must say you all sound like a bunch of paranoid idiots. When I was a practicing Christian, Christmas was about the birth of Christ and giving of ourselves as he gave to others. This being said how many of you Christians actually practice this? How much of a sacrifice do you people make to celebrate your gods gift to you? When you have a birthday how do you celebrate? Do you go out to dinner and maybe have a cake? Do you celebrate Christ's birthday the same way by eating a big meal with friends and family? What is it about that can anyone really take from you?

Christmas lives and breaths in your heart and just as the Pagans saved Yule and the Jewish saved Hanukkah from your religious domination you will save your holiday of Christmas...that is if you really celebrate it in your heart.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Revalation

Interesting are the passages
Concerning the stories of life

One travels tward heaven
Another follows the light

Others stand and wonder
The difference from wrong and right

But most I hear
I've known for years

Are walking in darkness
Spread by the night

Monday, November 30, 2009

for M and K and the work to be done

salt and word
placement of sword
protection from harm
we place this ward

you think you are strong
but we know you are wrong
for we hold the key
this is where we belong

love abounds here
nothing we fear
not you nor your ways
even as you draw near

contempted heart
from finish to start
we undo your words
and tear them apart

our family is whole
to love and grow
we cast you out
god save your soul

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

my cause

for years i have wanted to reach to the stars and scream aloud my feelings of love of hate of peace of rage
thinking dont be afraid be brave. cry and laugh aloud until you cant cry and laugh anymore.
dont sit still, MOVE! move until you collapse in exhaustion.

but i was afraid. afraid of rejection and, being scorned for what i knew i really was,
on the inside. deep frozen in fear without a cause. if i said anything i would be torn to shreds by the public.
and then where would i be? dead or alone again so what difference would it have made me?

i thought my voice was poetic in nature, but when i tried to write down my words
they wouldnt flow, until i got angry with no place to go. most of the people where i come from
write rhymes and prose and pose for pretty pictures. i am not understood by those who think they know me
they say my soul is of another place in time or country. i dont know.

what i do know, is that there has to be someone else just like me somewhere in another place or city
who doesnt fit in, with no voice and a silent heart frozen in fear. wanting to scream to sky that they are alive
and have something important to say.

after reading after watching after seeing poetry in voice in dance in color online
i became inspired and fired up to say whats inside me dying to get out
my life beats to its own drum it sings its own song it moves to its own dance trying to break free and its beautiful.

dont be the one like i have done and sit and say nothing.
take a picture, paint a painting. write a book. let people know about your thoughts
let them know your outlook. give them a view they might not have seen. they are alone
much like me watching, seeing and reading.
it isnt what you risk for yourself that matters. it is about inspiring others
to create and speak to a life otherwise shattered.

a cause worth speaking loud and clear for, the inspiration of another heart, another soul.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Understand Me

Simplify the meaning of time
Contemplate the feeling of rain
Study the touch of human hands
Understand me

Make intricate sounds of peace
Interact with calm and wonder why
See the colors of caverns at night
Understand me

Greet the space of time in nowhere
Say good-bye to nothing here
Hold in heart the words of thunder
Understand me

Monday, November 16, 2009

passages of time

Interesting are the passages of time
Some filled with love
Some hollow
into an empty pit
How will we survive I will never know

Contemplate life
Contemplate death
Both to embrace
Hanging there in the balance of time

Born to a life Of nothingness
No meaning or rhyme
We make ourselves survive
In the passages of time

I wonder why

Thursday, November 12, 2009

my love for trees















dragons fly

Where land and sky meet
And water doth flow

Where moon shines full
And giant oak grows

Where shining stars
Fill the sky

This is where
The dragons fly

Monday, November 9, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

a blast from the past

here is a poem I wrote when I realized the god of my following no longer loved me


Wand'ring in this dessert sun
Lookin' round theres nowhere to run
Waving sand and heated wind
All I can do is remember when

Blisterd souls in arid sky
How I wish my heart could cry
To quench this thirst that dwells within
And all that comes with loving him

Burning ashes turn to dust
Smold'ring fire you cannot trust
Simplified agony
How I wish he's come back to me



Losing ones faith is traumatic and soul wrenching. Like the phoenix, I came from the ashes of that despair and became what I am today. I am vibrant and whole. I am no longer brow beaten to think I am nothing without something else.

...and now, I am glad to be without him.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

spell against intrusion

step not my path intrusion be
anger not what lies in me
I do not fear but loath the ways
of common minds in wasted days

I do not subscribe to one belief
I study all to create peace
I do not pretend to be utmost
I will not be the one to boast

I cannot abide by those who do
nor cannot complain if that is you
I can only move forward for me
that is the way all paths should be

what a time this has been


This past month has been peppered with the unexpected. Doing up Halloween was quite fun but very exhausting. Then I had my ghost to contend with. Yes I have a ghost. It is human and because I am not one to deal with ghosts, its been very persistent. I am sure that my trying to further my studies isnt helping matters much either.

I am learning to do things that I only have wondered about and much to my surprise its not as hard as I thought. It could be because of the veil being so thin this year that its been easier than normal. I am finally able to take a small break and relax a bit with a book or two.

weak weary and tired I trudge on.....

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Travel

Last night I did a travel into a human to discover the inner workings. I felt everything from the organs to the rush of the blood. I was very clumsy in trying to discover why I was there. Then suddenly all the tissue was gone and I was within a skeletal being. I became the puppet master of this being.

This morning I sit here with compex thoughts on why this has happened to me. My study mate is of the opinion that I have been granted the ability to start healing on a spiritual level. She said perhaps I was supposed to look for elf arrows. I will have to cross again to see what my task is to be. This is a great wonder and quite a move for me to be granted such a gift. I can only hope I do well with it and not make things to complicated

Monday, October 19, 2009

BDSM and transing

"Subspace" is a form of trance. Trance in its essence is a state of being, different from your "normal" state of being. During trance your mind excludes most of its input and concentrates on just one or only very few impulses, completely disregarding all others. There are many ways in which a trance can be induced. Prolonged dancing for example, or hunger, prolonged physical activity. Hypothermia, recreational drugs, high fever, lack of nutrition, dehydration AND BDSM-activity all can induce trance. Just like
repeated physical activity (such as jumping from one leg on another for a long time - a modern technique used by psychologists).

Trance is the result of hormonal activity. Hormones are substances in your body, responsible for communication between the brain and the cortex and the rest of the body ("blink your eye" is the result of a mini hormone cocktail. So is "pull muscle" or ..... "fall in love"). Everything your body does (or does not) is the result of these usually complex hormone cocktails. Hormones are being read by "receptors" and the availabilty and functionality of these 0 receptors is genetically determined. That is why a hormonal reaction is not identical in different people.

For "subspace" a group of hormones, called "peptides" is important. Peptides are amino acids. Many look like morphine and have attributes, that can be compared to morphine. And yes - although natural - they ARE (to some extent) addictive! For subspace ENDORPHINS - a group of such peptides - are an important ingredient.

taken from http://www.collarncuffs.com/Subspace.html

Monday, October 12, 2009

Sorry I havent written

Hey everyone,
Im sorry I havent written, I went on vacation to get a grip on life. What I got was tired and more loved than anyone fully deserves.

I will be in and out through the next few months as there are many things going on. I know the holidays are coming up and people get busy. For me it will be a time for study and spirit travel. I need to take this time to grow and discover more. I will let you all know what happens as I move through my studies.

Well Met!
val

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Just Desserts

Tick tick round the clock
Time is on my side

You cast me away
Then begged me to stay
Now all you have is your pride

My tears I shed were honest ones
To bad they fell on deaf ears
You cared not of me
Or others you see
This time we did not fear


I am well and You are not
I cannot complain of a thing
It is a pleasure to see your evil ways
Have made the mess you are in.


I cast not a thing to come your way
I cast not a thing to get them to stay
I merely wished that I could belong
Then all I did was sing a song

The Earth the Air the Fire the Water
Return Return Return Return...

And they have.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Equinox Dinner

The celebration has begun. Tonight at midnight I will be having a supper of squash pork steaks and baked apples.
The 22nd marks the changing of the seasons and celebration of harvest being over. Now its time to stock and store. It is my favorite time of year. Nothing makes me more happy than green, orange, red, yellow brown and even some black showing up all over the place. I have set out to visit the north next week for a short time just to get a breath of fresh air and taste of the old life. My bones are shaking with excitement more than ever before. I cant say that I understand it but I know its going to be good.

Autumn Blessings of brown sugar, apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, hot drinks, and warm book stoves.
val

The Hard Choices

Today was a day of sadness for me. I realized that I have no family left. They are alive and well (most of them) but I cannot sit by and act like I am a part of them. Bigotry, hate, zealots, total consumption of everything I am not. For some it is easy being the "black sheep" but for me its very sad. I have a twin who I love more than anything and my twin has grown into a monster. Hate has consumed him. I feel like 1/2 of me has died.

When I wrote "I am but one who stands alone" I thought I was writing about my beliefs. It would seem it was more of a prophesy of my relationship status with my family.

For the love of all that is was and ever will be, I will not go back on what I believe for the sake of family. For the love that is was and always will be I will hope....one day....things will change for the better

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Temptress Be Gone spell

temptress listen
and hear me good
if you play with fire
you will get burned,
as you should

you have pushed me farther
than I wanted to go
now you will pay
with nothing to show

no pride no servitude
no happiness be
no value no master
will deal with thee

your home will be
as you wish others to be
broken and solitude
now do you harken me?

your will has decided
what your fate will be
fuck with a witch
and your fate becomes three

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

History As Fact

I know this is going to be controversial at best but Im going to put this out there. History is full of crap. For that matter science is too. Okay some things are good to know in these subjects if you have to pass a test in college. For the most part its all crap.

Follow me if you will. History is told by people who either learned it from other historians, or experienced it first hand. Unless the person who tells the story lived both sides of an incident there is no way it can be accurate. Then there are those who see it one way, then try to see it another way and make logical assumptions. These are the peopleI can admire for their trying to understand, at least they try and not base everything on what a book or what someone else told them.

World war 2 is a good example. I grew up an American learning American ways and listening to American history. Our involvement in the war started when we got bombed at Pearl Harbor. I was taught that the reason we got involved with Germany was because Hitler was such a horrible man. I then learned that the reason we invaded Germany was not because Hitler was killing innocent people, but because they struck a deal with Japan.
Then I met Eleanor. A lady who grew up in Nazi Germany as a non Jewish German. Her history was something I never heard of. Her history taught her that the Jewish people had most of the control of the finances in Germany and it put panic and fear into the government. America stood for such chaos and capitalism and so America was to be feared because we had military power. We were the threat to their downfall. And thats why Germany struck a deal with Japan. Germany couldnt handle everything on their own.

Seeing this small section of history from two different perspectives made me understand that it is never correctly told "after the fact" (its the old addage, history is told by the survivors) And to teach or learn something as fact when it is only one sided is never all the facts. Even when we can draw a logical assumption to things doesn't mean its fact, they are only opinions...

...and we all know that means, everyones got one.

On to science....

A major pet peave of mine are these shows on television recreating days of the dinosaur, or how the earth was made and such nonsense. These programs drive me insane. Alright Im not a schollar, I am a simple minded person with the belief that there is no way anyone can know that this dino ate that dino and that dino feared this dino and they all died when this happened. Im sorry I just dont buy it. Sure we can make logical deductions by looking at teeth and structure but its a LOGICAL DEDUCTION....nothing more than an educated guess.
The earth is said to be _______ years old by this scientist and _______ by that scientist. The fact is NOBODY knows how old the earth is or how it was made or developed. We have limited minds and only a small understanding of how it all works. Science is a study of trying to understand something that our minds have limited access to. Just because science says something is fact, doesnt make it so. How many times have you known the logic of science to change?

Pluto is a prime example. We all grew up with "knowing" there were nine planets. Now because of science we dont have nine planets. And yet they are still stating information as fact. We only have 8 planets in our galaxy, well 3 years ago we had nine....whos to say more planets dont develop and we have twelve tomorrow? Impossible? Not if you think the big bang theory is fact, and whos to say its not? How can we know?

When someone comes at me with a lot of book knowledge and nothing else I have to roll my eyes and hold my breath. These people who I know are very well learned in mans voices never heard a tree talk, never felt the magic of energy effectivly flowing to make a change, They dont believe in spell work as anything other than mental games and trickery. The wonder and life has been taken out of their sails. They LIVE for the next scientific discovery or story coming from some old person or book instead of living life for themselves.

infact ...the fact of the matter is "fact" shouldnt even be a word, it is to literal and close minded. There should be a word that means "as we know it to be" meaning it could change with more knowledge.

Monday, September 14, 2009

A Spell For Stalkers

bird within the gilded cage
free yourself and fly away
find yourself a new place to play
to spread your sorrow another day

heed this warning and leave him alone
wrap your heart and take it home
scatter your mind away from him
or shattered your will, will be after the sin

complex I know you heart to be
harken me now to follow these three

1 to leave a soul in peace
2 to have a life of ease
3 is for your evil ways

shed them now and for all days

Friday, September 11, 2009

A Different Way Of Thinking

get rid of self and become what is around you. I never understood it until I saw my self as something other than my person. self isnt my person self is what I believe my person to be.

when you become at one with what is around you and lose self you become "not self" but what is. does that make sense?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Favorite Poem of All Time

Dawn of light lying between the silence and sold sources
Chased amid fusions of wonder
In moments hardly seen forgotten
Colors in pastures of chance dancing
Leaves cast spells of challenge
Amused but real in thought
We fled from the sea whole

Dawn of thought transferred through moments of days under searching earth
Revealing corridors of time provoking memories
Disjointed but with purpose
Craving penetrations offer links with the self instructors sharp and tender love
As we took to the air
A picture of distance

Dawn of our power we amuse
Re descending as fast as misused expressions
As only to teach love
As to reveal passion chasing late into corridors
And we danced from the ocean

Dawn of love sent within us colors of awakening
among the many want to follow
Only tunes of a different age
As the links span our endless caresses for the freedom of life everlasting


this was written by John Anderson and Steve Howe (not bad for a couple of rock artists eh? read into the words and see where it takes you. I think they are shamanic myself.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Coffee and Cigarettes

Contemplating my contempt
Trying to understand the why of it all
What was the reason of my being here?

Staring at the world outside
Over a cold cup of coffee
And a cigarette

No one to understand
What the meaning of existence is
The life we all endure

We're born
We die
Everyone cries

Over a cold cup of coffee
And a cigarette

Friday, September 4, 2009

Instincts

August September October, these months bring thoughts of falling leaves, going back to school, cool crisp air, arts and craft shows and so much more. Traditionally its the harvest season and by October all the food for the winter months should be up and stored in a cool dry place. At the end of October the air turns to a crispness as it prepares us for winter. The grass turns brown and leaves have fallen, birds have started to migrate south to warmer places. Everything has the appearance of being dead. If thats so, then why is there excitement in the air?

When I lived in the Northern climate this was the time of year the deer and elk started to go into rut. I too notice that there seems to be this overwhelming "thing" that drives me to be homesick and more passionate at this time of year every year. Could it be that we as people do have instincts that follow the seasons? We always say follow your instincts, but what does that mean? Is a hunch an instinct? or a feeling? Lets look at the definition of the word.


instinct (n.) An inborn pattern of behavior that is characteristic of a species and is often a response to specific environmental stimuli: the spawning instinct in salmon; altruistic instincts in social animals. instinct (n.) A powerful motivation or impulse.

1. Natural inward impulse; unconscious, involuntary, or unreasoning prompting to any mode of action, whether bodily, or mental, without a distinct apprehension of the end or object to be accomplished.
An instinct is a propensity prior to experience, and independent of instructions. --Paley.
An instinct is a blind tendency to some mode of action, independent of any consideration, on the part of the agent, of the end to which the action leads. --Whately.
An instinct is an agent which performs blindly and ignorantly a work of intelligence and knowledge. --Sir W. Hamilton.
By a divine instinct, men's minds mistrust Ensuing dangers. --Shak.
2. (Zo["o]l.) Specif., the natural, unreasoning, impulse by which an animal is guided to the performance of any action, without of improvement in the method.
The resemblance between what originally was a habit, and an instinct becomes so close as not to be distinguished. --Darwin.
3. A natural aptitude or knack; a predilection; as, an instinct for order; to be modest by instinct.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Taking these examples can you say you have them? I always want to start hording food in the fall. I also get this unbelievable urge to make blankets. Being in the south that is a bit over the top but I was raised in the north. My instincts tell me to gather and prepare. Around here people gather and prepare in the summer. Its just something that happens.
In any case, all Im saying is that we are one with the earth. The areas we live in and the climate seems to dictate our activity more than we might think. Listen to your instincts and observe them in afterthought. It is another excellent way to learn about yourself

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Being Angry

Last night I was told a joke I didnt find amusing. It was a racial joke about how "some" people can be incompetent. I became livid very very very quickly. By doing so I found that more people found my reaction to be less than appropriate. Needless to say I found a rather large group of people who I will no longer consider my friends. On the other hand many others I never knew shared the same views then spoke up.

All it takes is one brave soul to speak their mind and so many then come forth.

a sheep I am not, I might be a herder but Im not the sheep

Monday, August 31, 2009

I AM

I am what I am
Not shy or bold

I am what I am
As my ancestors fortold

I am what they were
And wanted to be

I am what I am
For I am me

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Something to Think About

I am currently involved in a mass spell. Im not sure how many people are involved with this but one single person has spoken out against it. That one person cast doubt and fear into the mix because it wasnt being done "her" way. The moon isnt in the right position and the stars arent right and then there was something else she was fearing. She didnt know all the paticulars. She didnt even ask for them. She just stated that we were going to be doomed to fail because SHE was sure it wasnt right. Her word seemed to carry a lot of clout because she is a Revrend.

People like this are all over. I call them nay sayers. Theres always one in the bunch who will rain on a parade that seems to be in full swing. These people cast doubt and shame and seem to put down every good idea ever thought up.

Im here to say my magic is more powerful than her mouth. When I read her letter I was laughing. Not at her but at her fear and second guessing. The spell work being done is to help a person in need who is being attacked by evil through another person. The Revrend seemed to express concern over hurting the wrong person. How insecure can a person be about their own magic?

If you dont have what you need to cast your spells GET IT. a name, an address, a birth date, tools, and energy or whatever. Just because you dont have the tools to do the work doesnt mean the rest of us cant work a spell or two.

Casting doubt is its own magic dont you think?
Cast doubt and become part of the problem and have work cast on you. Thats how I learned to deal with it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What Kind Of Person Are You Going To Be Today?

This is a question I have asked my children. What kind of person are you going to be today? Its an honest question. It is a question filled with so many possibilities. One wrong move and you could be the kind of person you never wanted to be. With one right move you could end up a hero to someone.

Every morning I wake up and think this to myself. What kind of person do I want to be today.
Here is a list I have come up with that I try to be everyday

honest
loyal
studious
fair
calm
playful
loving
just
and rather non discript.

This is the kind of person I try to be everyday.

what kind of person are you going to be today?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sometimes in the Dead of Night

Sometimes in the dead of night
The thoughts of death surround my mind
Sometimes in the dead of night
Spirits come and give life in abundance
Sometimes in the dead of night
My mind is tortured by its own thoughts
Sometimes in the dead of night
My body is pleased by anothers touch
Sometimes in the dead of night
The sound of silence fills the air
Sometimes in the dead of night
The call of nature screams in unrest
Sometimes in the dead of night
I want to cry out in loneliness and fear
Sometimes in the dead of night
I hear a single tear drop hit my pillow
Sometimes in the dead of night
I leave the lights on
Sometimes in the dead of night
I welcome total darkness even though it never comes
Sometimes in the dead of night
Nothing is as it seems
Sometimes in the dead of night
All I have is life and dreams
Sometimes in the dead of night
The owl calls out
Sometimes in the dead of night
I wish for peace, and it never comes

Monday, August 17, 2009

Can We Find a Common Ground?

It would seem that the book of Isaiah chapter 34 is nothing more than a threat to the peoples who believed in the powers of the Earth and all that they held sacred. Put yourself in the mind of a pre Christian Pagan. You believe in all gods. Then someone comes along and says that their god is angry and will cause everything you believe in to be nothing more than chaos.

Anyone who knows even the slightest thing about religion knows that to be religious is to have the power of your god behind you (or in front of you as the case may be) Read this chapter and think of me. I am a tender woman who is doing nothing more than what I feel is right. Imagine the fear, confusion, and feelings I would feel reading or hearing this. By the grace of all I believe in, even I would crumble under such a threat. Then the peoples of that god come to hang or drown or burn me.

You might say that Isaiah was OT. Did not the new come as an extention of the old? I wonder.....if Jesus was sent to save ALL from sin, if he knew what was about to take place. Call him a prophet, a clairvoyant, a seer, or just someone with a kind heart and good foresight. What people have done in his name over time would astound any man.

Chapter 34

1 Come near, ye nations, to hear; and hearken, ye people: let the earth hear, and all that is therein; the world, and all things that come forth of it.

2 For the indignation of the LORD is upon all nations, and his fury upon all their armies: he hath utterly destroyed them, he hath delivered them to the slaughter.

3 Their slain also shall be cast out, and their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood.

4 And all the host of heaven shall be dissolved, and the heavens shall be rolled together as a scroll: and all their host shall fall down, as the leaf falleth off from the vine, and as a falling fig from the fig tree.

5 For my sword shall be bathed in heaven: behold, it shall come down upon Idumea, and upon the people of my curse, to judgment.

6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.

8 For it is the day of the LORD's vengeance, and the year of recompences for the controversy of Zion.

9 And the streams thereof shall be turned into pitch, and the dust thereof into brimstone, and the land thereof shall become burning pitch.

10 It shall not be quenched night nor day; the smoke thereof shall go up for ever: from generation to generation it shall lie waste; none shall pass through it for ever and ever.

11 But the cormorant and the bittern shall possess it; the owl also and the raven shall dwell in it: and he shall stretch out upon it the line of confusion, and the stones of emptiness.

12 They shall call the nobles thereof to the kingdom, but none shall be there, and all her princes shall be nothing.

13 And thorns shall come up in her palaces, nettles and brambles in the fortresses thereof: and it shall be an habitation of dragons, and a court for owls.

14 The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island, and the satyr shall cry to his fellow; the screech owl also shall rest there, and find for herself a place of rest.

15 There shall the great owl make her nest, and lay, and hatch, and gather under her shadow: there shall the vultures also be gathered, every one with her mate.

16 Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them.

17 And he hath cast the lot for them, and his hand hath divided it unto them by line: they shall possess it for ever, from generation to generation shall they dwell therein.

I'm pretty sure as Witches we all know why most of the scripture was
written against witchcraft. but that doesn't mean it has to stand
today. If the bible goes the way it has in the past, it will change
yet again. In order for it to be a positive change I believe we
should find a common ground somewhere or history is destined to
repeat itself.

Friday, August 14, 2009

What Is, Was, and Could Have Been

Ive been beyond
This gilded cage
The flight of freedom
Refreshed my soul

I had to come back
For a feared the unknown
And what I longed for
made me curious

Caught in a tangled web
Of thoughts and practicality
Dreaming of what could have been

I might have been an artist
to release my creative side
Then danced and sang with joy

But....
I'm the type that would have sat
Thinking...
What could have been then? also

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Spell for the Teacher

in all the things I do and say
be kindly teaching a creative way
for all that see and hear to learn
my words be felt of calm not stern



opinions made from single thread
cast not judgement upon my head
wither anger risen from haste
positive energy take its place!



as Sun doth set and fingers rest
a sigh is only but a breath
put the lessons taught today
in righteous hands come what may.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Lessons in Life

I've seen so many happenings
My life feels so complete
From birth til now
There is little I'd delete

The play as a child
The discovery as a youth
The trial of adolesence
And growing in truth

The learning as an adult
it seems
Is the hardest thing
Life could bring

Once this person
Is set in her ways
Life again changes
Keeping me at bay

I've learned
To play like a child
As I discover the truth
Coasting through life
Maintaining my youth

Growing older each day
With truth at hand
Is not easy for me

But using these tools
Makes life grand

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Feeling of Peace

There are smiles that warm my heart
As I close my eyes and take a deep breath
Sitting near the window
The sun shines down the back of my neck
And peace surrounds me like a wall of stone

Music floods my soul as I remember
The way it felt when a true friend embraced me
A child kisses me with innocence while speaking of love
I know this child speaks truth

Time seems to fade

As I get up from my chair I hold fast this feeling of peace
And let the day pass into tomorrow

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

I have been noticing a trend lately that really bothers me. People are using religion as an excuse for how they act. Have you ever needed help in the grocery store and nobody would help you because you have a tattoo or wearing all black? When I was in a wheelchair before my surgery I was told that it served me right for being against god. As if me being in a wheelchair was punishment from a god I no longer serve.

I have also found it on the opposite sides of the coin. I have seen my witchy friends say horrible things about Christians just because they are Christians. I have seen them roll their eyes at the sight of a Christian fish bumper sticker. I have heard mocking and gossiping also.

I am SICK of people hiding behind religion as an excuse to behave this way. Where does it say that anyone should make someone suffer for their own beliefs?

I found something written that I think people need to stand up and take notice of. They aren't my words but the words of many others. guess what religions these come from. I bet one of them is yours.



No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.


Please remember as you go about your day, and
interact with others, to treat them as you wish to be
treated.

Do not do unto others whatever is injurious to
yourself.

An it harm none, do what ye will

We affirm and promote respect for the
interdependent web of all existence of which we are
a part.

Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain and
your neighbor's loss as your own loss

I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger
to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all

We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive

All things are our relatives; what we do to
everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One

All things are our relatives; what we do to
everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One

What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man.

One should treat all creatures in the world as one
would like to be treated.

None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his
brother what he wishes for himself

This is the sum of duty: do naught unto others
which would cause you pain if done to you.

Surely it is the maxim of loving-kindness: Do not
unto others that you would not have them do unto you.

All things whatsoever ye would that men should do
to you, do ye even so to them

Treat not others in ways that you yourself would
find hurtful.

And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose
thou for thy neighbour that which thou choosest for
thyself.

Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish
to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the
things you would not desire for yourself

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Coming Out of Surgery

Sorry I have been absent so long.

Coming out of surgery I could clearly see crystal butterflies and snowflakes that the butterflies landed on. The only real color I could see were the tiny drops of blood on the snowflakes left behind by the butterflies feet. A most unusual sight if I do say so. Everything was quiet and still almost completely silent. If I figure out its meaning I will let you know.

In the mean time be patient with me. This recovery is kicking my butt.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Whats in a name?

Do you know what your name means? Have you given it any thought as to what it means to have that name?

I used to hate my name and to be honest using my given name still bothers me. Its one of those names that you think a cheerleader would have. Now that would be fine if I was a cheerleader type, but Im not. Im one of those people who would have been rightly named Gertrude or Helga. Something that sounded strong and old.

The name given me means "beloved". All I have to say about that is EW.......UNLESS you put it with my whole name. My name was given to me by my sister when I was born. She was given a list by my mother and she chose my name from its sound. My sister was all of 14 when she did this so you can imagine what she chose right?

A couple of years ago I was doing a study on names and how important they are in shaping a future. Naming a child is one of the most important things someone can do. Thats what they thought in the days of old and I believe it today.
My brothers name means "Honoring God, the noble one from the oak grove" He has become a very zealous Christian and holds his head so high most of the time I can cound his nose hairs.
My mothers name meand "Bright one pledged of the ocean" Now anyone who knew anything about my mother knew she had a love of the ocean and light like a beacon when she was near it. Even when she was land locked she painted ocean scenes and longed to have as much yellow and blue in her life as possible. Her very soul yearned for the ocean.

I have written some in this blog on the kinds of things I do. Yes I am a spiritual person. I talk to trees and animals and spirit travel at will. I am very opinionated and yet I try to be peaceful about my opinions and view others opinions as learning tools and often study guides. Its fair to say that what you see is what you get. I am an artistic person who loves music and dance with a passion. I have never settled my mind on one thing for very long so I tend to be a free thinking person.I also am very complicated on matters that mean the most to me. I know some of you know my real name but I bet you never knew its meaning.

I am "Beloved renowned warrior from the oak grove"

For those of you who know anything about the path I am on, it is very plain to see that my future from birth was handed to me on a silver platter.....by a 14 year old girl who suffers brain damage.

I challenge you to look up the meaning of your full name. You might find something out about yourself you never knew...and then again, I can bet theres something about it you have always known.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Music

Music effects my daily routine. If I play soft music I tend to be depressed or insightful. If I play loud heavy music I can be very loud and angry. Certain rhythms send my feet dancing while others make me sit or even lie down. I dont know if it is the energy collected and then put out for me to hear or if it how my body reacts to the energy I am listening to, either way it is an interesting study.

I know that plants react to music and the scientists have found that some plants do well with classical and some do well with rock and roll. Unborn babies respond well to music also.

I have found that sound and rhythm are what allows me to do what I do. The more I like the sound the better the outcome is. I cant help but wonder how many others are like me. I wonder how many work with the same kinds of sounds I do. For me its drumming and droning with good harmony. I dont know how to put what I am trying to describe but I can certainly tell you when I hear it. It would seem that my craft is severely effected by what Im listening to.
Maybe I should collect music as payment for my work.....how many kinds of work could come form that? Now this is an interesting idea. I will have to think more on it.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Interupted

The sounds of an echo
When you whisper to the wind
In the minds eye
Drawing pictures within

Colors in prism
That dance all around
Music is life
harmony profound

Balance in time
Our dreams to escape
Thoughts of you
My soul to take

Simple it seems
To understand
The meaning of all that is
And what we are seeing

Fools are we
With thoughts incomplete
To end a story
When we speak

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

To Break Free of the Vampires Hold

to rid ______
of being a target
and force the
feeders to go away

to let the love
and understanding of one
be stronger at will
and keep them at bay

behold the mother
caretaker of all
go to her now
upon my call

show her the ways
of loves hard truths
and break the ties
and feelings of youth

Hecatate, Diana, Artemis all
the mothers surround her
and keep her from answering
the vampires call

change not her love
but eyes to see
set her mind
and body free

we love our sister/brother
_______'s her name
bring her/him back
to us again.

a candle for the Goddesses and Gods and one for________in the center. I use sage for cleansing, cinnamon for strength, and lavender for calm. (burn the spices/herbs) I print out the persons signature so I have something thats personally theirs to place on the alter. upon every morning I will repeat this until they comes back!

LAdy Raven

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Freedom

I am but one
Who stands alone

I look around to see

The we
The me
Them and they

All is seen
And goes astray

My protection is
My dignity
Transparent as
It may be

I am but one
Who stands alone

I am Freedom
And Freedom is me

Monday, July 20, 2009

Your Belief Or Mine?

IMHO...
and I mean to be really humble here...if everyone has their own
path, doesnt that mean there are just as many ways to walk a path as
well?

as a former Christian I can say there are literaly 1000's of
Christian Witches. Most dont even know what they are practicing.
My old Pastor discovered the healing powers of liquid oxygen
and went around putting the stuff all over peoples wounds healing
them almost instantly saying how great God was for showing this to
him. It cracked me up because I knew of this practice back when I
was just a girl and mom was a practicing witch.
Being filled with the holy spirit is the same as being a medium or an integral part of Shamanic practices.
Shamans have been practicing the laying on of hands since the beginning of time and the Hindu people also practice this. Come to think of it the African Voodoo beliefs say you can both give and take by the laying on of hands.
Its all semantics people, Who cares what you call it. It is what it is. Life is far to short and far to precious to waste on arguing about who can or should do what and how. The fact is, if we can all be kind in our thinking and put beliefs aside and just practice what we do, much more would get done. I see no need to carry out a war thats lasted more than 2000 years.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Have you ever noticed that you seem to have certain times when things just dont feel "right"? You know its not your period because that was last week. You know its not the significant other because they have been perfect. People just seem to bother you. Sound bothers you everything isn't "right" Check the planetary alignments. Its probably Mercury in retrograde. I'm no expert on this and in fact know very very little about it but I can say this, my friends go crazy when this time happens.

The best way I know to deal with it is just to laugh it all off. You can try to explain away why its happening but most wont believe you. Its better to snicker to yourself and wait out the storm. I spend most of my retrograde days in solitude and watching the most hilarious things I can find. My dog is a great form of entertainment. She tends to do stupid things only she can do best. Like burrowing a tunnel under the covers only to smell My husband's feet and come back up. I use my computer and go online to watch people do stupid things in video. Cartoons are a good way to past the time too. Anything to get me to smile. So if you see me out and Im laughing at everything you can bet its because our friend mercury is at his tricks and I'm trying to think its funny.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Is hypnosis a form of travel?

I was in a post traumatic stress disorder and self hypnosis treatment program. And they do teach you to travel but its not traveling like the Shaman travels. There is a difference . Its a simple answer if you have done both and not so simple if you havent. Hypnosis is done the same way but is very controlled by the brain and thoughts and feelings. You teach your brain to shut off and go where you need or want it to go. And then you can do whatever you want to do while you are there. If your not to controlled in hypnosis you can see things that
you thought you didnt put there but your brain really creates it so it will make simple connections to remember and store information.
Its done with repetitive motion or sound. .

A Shaman has a gift of doing and seeing things that are not controlled. When Im traveling I can "put" things in my travels but I cant change where I go a nor can I change the main purpose I am there.

Say I was traveling to a forest and I am to see an attack by a cougar. In my travels the cougar attacks me.
I can create a deer to stand between us and watch it kill the deer. however if the travel lesson was for me to die to see where I was to be buried, the cougar would attack the deer and then a tree would fall on me. I might be able to change the scene but I cannot change its outcome. I should add that the more I interfere the more traumatic the travel is. Also....I cant change who I talk to in the travels or what they say.

Its very disturbing when my travels include people or spirits. It is very draining and almost always has some negative affect on my body. Talking with the elders this way, is not the same as traveling either. Its more of a state in which I open my shell to allow the spirit world to converse with me.

Thats the diff of being a traveler and a hypnosis. as simply as I can put it."




This is something I wrote before I learned to direct my travels. In the beginning I had no control over where I went. I had to learn the ways of
the underworld and how to travel. Now things are different. I go to many places and stay and go as I please.

Talking with the spirits is still harder for me than simple traveling. Spirits tend to drain me so much they make me ill. I am not a medium.
That is something quite clear to me, but if I must retrieve one, I will do it and deal with the illness later.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Responsibility in Witchcraft

"if the publishers are making money, then people are buying. If people are buying, then people are reading and if people are reading they are learning...and its not the select few that real teachers would want to teach to...its the general public and believe me the people who would WANT to harm would be the ones to study it the hardest.

I have been practicing without claiming a title for some time now but since I have claimed the title "Witch" I can say my work load has come to me 10 fold. I now have to be responsible in my actions as well as my words. Im even watching the kind of toilet paper I buy because theres a company out there that is using our rain forests to make it. I notice trash on the streets a lot more than I used to and pick up what I can. Our Mother Earth is being polluted to the point of us not even being able to see her anymore. What do we do about it? Another thing I have picked up a habit of doing that I think we should all do to better our community...how about casting healing spells over all the EMS and ambulance crews in your area so they can perform at a level that would amaze even the doctors. Its a lot of work but its worth it. Honor the ancestors by cleaning up cemeteries. You would be surprised at how grateful people are. You want to talk about magic? Watch even the hardest of hearts melt when you send them a message from a loved one whos passed on as you clean off the crud from years of neglect.

I might not be able to grow all my own herbs and make my own tinctures but I do what I can and help the Earth and people of and on this earth they only way I know how. If thats using magic or talking to the dead or breaking my back I will do it because I am a witch and thats what a witch does."


I made that comment talking on a forum about witchcraft and the responsibilities to the readers.

Lets be honest here, the general public has an agenda. Most of them have the power or money agenda right? Not many at all have the control to use witchcraft for what it is intended. Im here to tell you that the witchcraft I know will kick your ass if you dont respect it. Some call it fate, some call it karma, some call it consequences, some call it a lesson from god, and some call it lack of responsibility. Whatever the definition "if you are not a witch dont practice the craft". You can study it and learn about it but please dont practice it. It can eat you alive. It takes an extraordinary amount of control not to get consumed by its temptations. Im sure you have all seen the results of what can happen. Ever hear of witch wars? How about covens breaking up because the leader got to full of themselves? How about authors who no longer accept anyone elses views on the subject? Yes these are all signs of people who shouldnt be in practice. Some of the most famous witches of all time shouldnt have been witches because of the power lust. I have seen it time and time again, people who practice and lose sight of what it is really about.

Now you ask what is it really about. Well first off I can say its about discovering yourself. Always looking inward for the answers. You might say thats a bunch of crap. Well if you take a look at the paragraph above it seems to me if you dont know what and who you are, you are in for a long hard road that will eventually end with a hard knock or two or even three depending on how hard your head is. After you get to know yourself and you are sure that after studying about the craft you want to try it....please by all means try it. After your first try re-examine how you feel about yourself. See if the power lust hasnt bitten you. If you fail to succeed in what you try ask yourself why do you want to try again. Most of the time I bet you would answer, "to see if I can do it' or "to see if its real" or "to see if it will work" If any of these are your answer you shouldnt be doing it. Im not going to tell you what the answer should be because those of you who know, know that its far to precious a thing to just dole out on a whim for writing a book.

Magic is only a part of the craft and even everyday people can do magic. Energy can be drawn in and sent by anyone. Dont believe me? Go to any belief system, any religion at all. Catholics use the energy of candle flame, pentacostals use the laying on of hands and dancing, hindu, buddists, muslim, agnostics athiests, everyone does it their own way they just give it a different name. What makes a witch a witch is the ability to not only work magic but work it in conjuction with the otherworlds.

Im not talking about UFO's, martians and other planets. Im talking about the spirit realms. The underworld, as it were.
This is what makes a witch a witch. I know the people think that anyone who does magic is a witch and there are those who think that you dont have to practice magic to be a witch. From everything that I have studied and everything I have read, I can safely say that witches are not common, they are rare. Magicians are common, cunning folk are common, power hungry people with an agenda are VERY common, psychics are even pretty common. A witch is someone who travels to the underworld, understands what is there and uses magic to achieve the needs of the underworld. This is why they have been hated and feared for thousands of years. Before the Church and governments took over, witches were feared and respected. Their knowledge was sought to heal as well as curse. A witch knows the ways of nature and the ways of the spirits. You cant deny that if you know nothing about the underworld and told of the dangers and are to fear it, then it is safe to say that witches MUST be feared also.

What is so sad is that anything we dont understand, we fear. I believe the heart of the witch is more important than the practice of the craft. This is where power lust can play a very important role in not only your craft but it could mean that your intentions might get you killed in some places. Not to mention what becomes of the name witch. It is human nature to stereotype a label or title. Here in the United States you can be fired, mocked, scorned, and be cast aside. I have seen some people run out of towns. Never underestimate the power of fear. And never underestimate the power you have to either induce that fear or calm it.

This is why witches really are a rare thing. It is bad enough that the underworld is a dangerous place, but the mundane will no doubt attempt to make this world a living nightmare for you if they dont understand what you are about. Hence the need to be solitary in practice.

Monday, July 13, 2009

My Wedding Vows

Love of my love
Soul of my soul
You have entered my heart
And made me whole

I promise to love
And abide thy rule
Of accepting myself
As well as you

Where e're thou dost go
Mine heart sure to follow
In glee and in joy
In sadness and sorrow

I care not of wealth
Nor status or fame
I care only for us
And our life that remains

I give to you
My life as it be
For now and forever
Eternally


Love of my love
Soul of my soul
Live in my heart
And call it home

Beautiful beautiful
Love of my life
We are as one
For now and all time

Saturday, July 11, 2009

tools

As far a Ritual stuffs go, I have found that growing your own herbs is
the most rewarding way to go if you can. Its also cheaper than if
you buy. It also gives you something to barter with if you have
extra and need to make a trade for something with a friend. It will also give you an idea about
nature and how it works.

I made my own cloak from fabric I got at a end of month sale for
twenty five cents a yard. I crocheted the trim, and for a frog (button) at the
top I used a round bloodstone for its protection and equality
and crocheted a button top cover to hold it in place. no one
would ever guess my cloak only cost me about 2 dollars just buy
looking at it.

I made my wand from a tree in my back yard. Okay its not really a tree, but it looks like one.
Its a weed that grows tall like a tree and has a spongy material in the center of its branches.
It was tough to carve up but it was easy to hollow out to put my crystal in it.

my circlette I purchased. Im just not good with metals so I found a really nice
hand made circlette to buy. As you grow in your path, you will discover what you need and or
want for your tools and how you want them to look. Just remember that this is your path
and these are going to be your tools. The more personal you make them the more
meaningful they will be.

You might ask why would it make them more meaningful. We all hear about how hand made
things work better but nobody ever really says why. Some of us think we are horrible at hand made
crafting and gardening and would rather buy everything we want. But answer each of these questions
and maybe you will start to understand why its better to grow or handcraft than it is to buy.

1.) If you buy your things, how important are they to you?
2.) Would you be able to go out and get another just like it?
3.) Who puts what kind of energy into the making of that thing?
4.) Doesnt energy put into that thing affect how it works?
5.) How unique would it be if others had the exact same thing?
6.) How would that make your craft yours?

How many times have you made something and have it turn up missing or ruined by some
unthinkable act? I know I have shed tears over some things lost over time from a divorce
or natural disaster. Clothes made by my mother I will never rid myself of, where as the store
bought clothing I replace at will and quite frequently. There is a reason for this.
The time and energy thought love and spells woven into every stitch by either myself or someone
I care for, I know are powerful purposeful and deliberate. Store bought things just arent done that way.
We have no way of knowing who put what kind of energy into the making of generic things.
What would happen if you wanted to perform a spell for a healthy pregnancy? What if the tools,
candle, wand, cloth, or even other spell words you used were made by someone with anger,
or resentment twards an ex partner now forcing child support on them or someone sad because
of the loss of a child, or sick? It would effect your spell work greatly and make it harder for you
to achieve your spells.

Sure you can purify, cleanse and replenish tools but How much energy do you think you can use without
getting drained? Wouldnt it be better to just make your own? If you are still doubting me on this
and think you cant make anything as good as "so and so"... Witchcraft is an art right? Try looking at art!
There is plenty of art in the museums that looks like a five year old can do just as good and sometimes
even better. Yet because of energy put into the art and freedom of expression, people think its great. Your
witchcraft will be the same.

Do yourself a favor and let go of all the stigmas you put on yourself and do what you love, want, and need to do.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Sex and Magic

personally (and this is just my opinion and logical deductions) I think that part of the reason people feared witches around men and saying a man was bewitched is because witches used sex for magic. Doling out and taking that kind of energy is intoxicating and addictive. I dont think it was written about because sex was always taboo and a personal issue
I learned about sex magic like I learned about traveling and any other kind of magic... it just happened. I had what most would think was a really over exerted sex once, back in the 80's and it looked like I passed out. I couldnt move and I couldnt talk. It was like I wasnt there. But for me I WAS there. It was almost like hovering over myself in a glass room and everything I saw was distorted and beautiful. I didnt want my partner to panic so I tried and tried to speak to him and couldnt. Then I "thought" to him. It worked, and with surprising results. Thats when I knew my head had more power than my body. Now I harness that energy for things I really need to have done. Its just a way to build and harness magic and because theres 2 people (or more) its amazing how much energy people can put out through pleasure.

I had to perform it for myself once. I cant even describe what it did to me. I am forever changed because of it. I dont know if its for the better or worse even, Im just changed.

Healing is the best thing to use such powerful magic on. Cancer doesnt like it I can say that with 100% certainty *giggles and cackles and stuffs*

its about storing before sex and building it during sex but in the end releasing it for a purpose and sending it where it needs to go no Im not talking ritual, Im talking taking whatever energy is there and using it. It has also caused me to travel in some cases. Its the most awesome thing.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

OF

OF

of life
of time
of water
of earth

of silence
of song
of death
of birth

of air
of fire
of stone
of wood

of sun
of stars
of bad
of good

of white
of black
of dark
of light

of moon
of cloud
of day
of night

of love
of hate
of short
of long

of part
of whole
of weak
of strong

of space
of time
of bound
of free

of man
of woman
of all
of me

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My home my soul

I was taking a trip across the world today by using the youtube website. I traveled to Finland, Germany, Japan, India, Ireland and so many wonderful places. I was searching for traditional folk tunes. I was so sad to see that in some countries folk is turning to metal rock. I of all people understand the youth and the need to be up on the times. I wish however they could not do this to their folk heritage. If they only knew what it means to lose your heritage.
Coming from America, most would say I am American but my roots are all Germanic. My soul has a memory that stretches out back to my European roots. I am trying so hard to recapture what used to be, only finding that the homeland people are wanting to be like me and my country. Dont do it good people. Dont make the same mistake I did. Save yourselves from a heart filled with wonder and sorrow. Keep what you have sacred. Keep the old stories, the old music, the old clothing. Keep your honor and love of family, keep everything as it once was. You will be the originals and we will always be the ones to come searching for you.
I dont know what caused my people to leave Europe. It wasnt written. Most of my family traditions are gone, and what is left will not be passed down to any of the children because they are not interested in having it. My grandmother used to call her sheep in by yodeling. I used to think it was so stupid. No one in my family has sheep anymore. And yodeling was a crime against rock and roll as far as I was concerned. By the time I graduated high school I have to admit I thought my mom was pretty cool. She made the towns maids dresses for our Bavarian festival and she ALWAYS won the yodeling contest. I soon left home, got married and had kids. I never learned to yodel. Mom died and took that with her. Im the only one who really wanted to try, I just got to busy. Now that my kids are grown and having kids of their own they will have even less heritage than I do.
I can go to Germany I can visit my distant relatives in Canada and New England but the family link seems gone forever because of careless handling.
If you have family stories, music, wedding traditions, funeral traditions, food, ANYTHING at all that has been passed down. Keep it close to your family and TEACH your children. It doesnt matter if they dont want to know. Make them know who they are, where they came from, and how they should be. It is the most important thing a family can do. It is the most important thing a country can do.
....and from this point of view, Its the most important thing a single soul can know.

lost in a melting pot made of lack of tradition caused by political correctness and lack of concern, steeped in shame and guilt from religion and self importance
LAdy Raven
Germanic heritage dating back to 1632 somewhere on the land where two rivers crossed and the people farmed wheat in the north

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Rock

I went to the underworld last evening to determine if rocks have spirits or if they are dwelled in by a spirit. Depending on the lore, people have said it can go either way, so I chose to find out for myself.

I drifted down as I always do then stretched my mind out to my subject. I wanted to just ask and get an answer. What I got was an infusion. My spirit melded with the rock and I became everything the rock was. I was sore and stiff. What surprised me is that I was very very very angry. I was trying to move but couldn't. I was trying to breath but couldnt. I was trying to do anything! but couldnt. Then I began to feel as if someone had banished me there. like I was cursed or in a punishment. The question I asked next would give me only more questions. "was it always this way?" the answer was "yes". Then I left that where is was and came back.

I have never felt so sorry for a quest and never so perplexed of the answers I got. I still dont know if the rock is a spirit or if the spirit lives in the rock. What I do know is that its angry, frustrated, and wants to be free. I felt it more male than female also. Dirt feels female, water feels female, rock?....most certainly male. Now I wonder if earthquakes are the built anger and strength gained to move itself. this is something to ponder. If rock ever becomes mobile I would not want to be around or have it dislike me for any reason.

Monday, July 6, 2009

the Oak

There is an oak so old and big it had to be chained to help keep it from splitting in two. When I saw the oak I thought how sad for it to have such an injury and scar. I walked up to hug it and something amazing happened. I heard it say thank you in the most odd deep still tone so still it was almost not there. So I said you are welcome.

I love that tree and go to see it when I can. It recognizes me when I approach it. Without question I hug the tree and send it my love and healing or whatever I have in energy. I figure it can convert my energy as it pleases for what it needs. I would say the tree is male but I wouldnt know for sure. Im not a studier of trees nor did I ask it questions. Just a simple recognition of its existence, its shade, Its years of beauty to the human eye, its pain, and its solitude. I have talked with many a tree but I have to say no other was as simple and clear as the oak. I felt a kinship to it.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Pain induced taveling

"it works" When you think of all the rituals of all the nations and all the tribes with all the people you might know to be spirit travelers, 99% of them use pain for one type of travel or another.

In todays society of freaks and peeps who are into tattooing, branding, piercing, cutting, BDSM, and even hooking, all I see are tribal instincts coming out of their seams. (most dont realize the ancestors calling to them) These practices are just a few of those used as ritual initiation to start trancing. There are to many practices to list them all but you can bet any way to mess with your head to force it to not be in your body has been used by the ancients and traditionals for traveling to the other side. Not every trip is good and some end in death, not just by the physical experience but sometimes the mental experience is to much for a brain to handle and will shut off like a light switch. This is why its not recommended for the common folk to try. Not to say a common person couldnt learn, but to just do it on a whim might result in tragedy.

I use pain at least 6 times a year for marked ritual traveling. I dont think its pleasant but its ritual and with that in mind I get the results required to do my work.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

First of all let me say this about that and the other. I do not claim to be any expert on the topic. I only know what i do and what I have always done. I dont have a teacher I never had a teacher. No Im not an American Indian medicine man. Nor am I saying what I do is right for you or your tribe or practice. I am just me saying what I know and why I know it.

When I was just a little girl of four years old I was taking a nap on the sofa with my twin brother something amazing happend. My brother and I went down to the basement to play ring around the rosey with our gobblin friends. When we were done we both jumped up off the sofa so hard it scared us. He asked me if I remembered the dream and I said yes and we promised never to tell anyone about it.

My brother stayed on his Christian path and now thinks those gobblin men were demons. I suppose to a Christian they would be. But to me they are just spirit people playing with those who can see them and not panic.

There are many names for spirit people and most of them are to be feared. Im not sure if the spirit walkers created this fear to help make themselves invaluable or if the church did it, either way it wasnt such a bad thing to do. You see, the spirit worlds are not much different than the real world when it comes to personalities. You have cheaters, murderers, tricksters, lovers, game players, pets, children, and all manor or beings.The only differences are is that the spirits have spiritual powers we know nothing about. The problem is not that we cant go to the spirit realm, but that we might get caught in there and not get out. Its like living in the country all your life and then getting tossed into the city not knowing where the gang territories are or how to catch a cab or find an address even. It is another world that has different rules to play by.
You might be asking, well how do you know how to play by them, right? Im still not sure I do. I go and have gone my whole life and still am confused by much of what I see or even why I see what I see.

I have read some about this topic and to be honest Im not sure if any 2 people see the same things the same way. Think about it. If I went to the grand canyon on the 12th April and you went to the grand canyon on the 20th of October We both would have been to the grand canyon. We also however would have seen things totally different. Even the colors would be different because of how the sun hit the rocks that time of year. So no two people will have the same thing to say about it.

How it all happens:

This is something Im also not totally sure about. Some people can make it happen with over induced meditation thats gone way out of whack. I have a friend who does this and it works for her. It doesnt work for me. What I do is just relax and the next thing I know Im there. It can happen anywhere any time but always has a reason. . I dont always have to be scientific about things and I dont always have to understand it either. Whats most important is that I remember what I see and hear when I get there. And remember how to get back!

To study of the spirits before I go seems to have its advantages. I can learn who might be a trickster and whos not. Although if they are tricking me how would I know they arent a trickster? Its like walking into the middle of a nightmare and if I screw up I can die and yet you dont want to leave because of its wonder. To bring back anything from this place is taking from it also. I have to remember to respect its place and its being as well as respect what lives there. Its frightening yes but fascinating as well.

the things Ive seen:

I have seen people and places I have heard hundreds of messages but by far the best, was the day I saw the isle of no return. I read somewhere that you arent supposed to swim the river. I broke that rule and I swam the river like I never swam anything before. First it was icy cold and it was trying to freeze me. Then it was flaming hot. I spoke to the river and I told it it cant hurt me because I am already hurt so bad it couldnt possibly hurt me more. Then it ripped my flesh from my bones. I kept swimming knowing that there was something I needed to see.
When my feet touched ground I stood waist deep in normal water looking at land. The name was like a whisper to me "Isle of no return". I stood there in spirit form staring at it. It was a wonderland and yet very ordinary in looks. It "felt" so extraordinary. I could breath it in.


It is not uncommon to have flesh be torn apart on any given trip. The trick is to know if they are doing it in their world or doing it in your world. You have all probably heard of people getting scratched or cut buy spirits. It happens a lot. This is where things get tricky for every one of us. Knowing what your spirit is feeling and knowing what your body back home is feeling and knowing the difference. It is THE most important thing to know. It is how you get back to the mundane. It is how you learn to protect yourself. It is how to know you are where you are when you are there.

I have not been the same since that trip. I can see people more clearly now. You know? Odin traded his sight for the knowledge of the runes. I can see why anyone might want the knowledge of the spirit world. But it comes at a cost. which I might talk about on a later date.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

what does it all mean?

a couple of years ago I had this vision. I was about nine years old or so and living in time where being a witch meant death. I lived or stayed with a few women n a cottage in the woods. I was handed a basket and told to take it to the house where a lady was birthing a baby. I was running as fast as I could to get to my destination. I felt every weed and fern hit my legs as I ran. When I came up over a small rise in the forest I heard voices and a commotion. I stopped to hide behind the big tree next to me. I peered out from the tree, and in the bright moonlight I saw four horseman with ropes around an older lady's neck. The lady was hanging by her feet from a tree limb. As I watched horrified, they accused her of being a witch and then on their horses took off running. The lady's head while she was screaming was torn off her body. I never saw so much blood. I screamed in agony because I knew her. The horsemen turned and came back to see who screamed. I ran for the hanging body and stood under it. I showered in her blood making sure not one inch of me was left without stain. The horsemen halted and asked my name. I told him in some language I dont recognize today..."my name is song sparrow"
They dared not touch me because I was covered in witches blood. One of the men laughed and said I wasnt worth the time and effort.
Next thing I knew I was an adult living on a hillside of rocky terrain. Yellow flowers everywhere. I was standing in the doorway talking to my only contact with human life. My friend Frou. Frou brought me supplies from the village below. She told me The villagers were all dead save two. I was the soul witch left. I told her I was alive because of the pine oil I used to ward off evil from my home.

with that, I smelled the oil and came out of my vision.

The meaning of that vision haunts me to this day. I dont know what it means or where it came from. As with most visions Im left perplexed and bewildered.

Monday, June 22, 2009

A title or label?

Are you a Witch?
Are you a Wiccan?
Are you a Shaman?
Are you a Traditional?
Are you a New Age?
Are you just curious?


be what you are and want to be. Labels are only something that make you comfortable or
uncomfortable as the case may be. For most people if they cant put a label on it
then they dont know what to call it and become affraid of it.

Do not call yourself something you arent just to make a point. I have done this and all it did was confuse people.
I have called myself Wiccan because I knew the company I kept understood that Wiccans called themselves witches
and knew that Wiccan witches were not evil people. It was a HUGE mistake! The next thing I knew I was being
asked to recite the rede and 3 fold law what date was my first initiation and all mannor of things.
Then I had to go back and explain why I said I was something when I wasnt, and my credibility was lost in that
group of people.


The only advice I can give you is if you dont have a name for what you do, dont give it a name until you are absoulutely
sure you know that is what it is. If you dont know what you are that is ok. You owe nobody an explination. You are
who you are. (Notice that "what" and "who" are the defining words here) Heck you might be something and just
didnt know there was a name for it. Thats what I was. I did all these strange things and I tried to fit
in where I thought people might accept me and nothing ever seemed to fit. It took forty years to find
out what the heck I was and give a name to it. Sometimes I still do things that others who share the same
title think Im odd for, but thats ok. I am me and this is my path and Im unique for it. Just as you are unique
in your path with your own special talants.

That being said I would like to put my own twist on the "be what you want" statement.

Being what you want means you can do just that. It doesnt mean you can call yourself something just because you want
to be that. I could call myself Catholic but that doesnt mean I am one. Just because you call yourself a witch doesnt mean
you are one either. Finding your identity can be the most difficult thing one can do. Add a practice to the mix and it can
be impossible.
Let me explain.
A practice is something you do. Law, medicine, magic are all practices. You can practice each one.
Does that make you a lawyer, doctor or witch? no of coarse not. Anyone can put a band aid on a boo boo. That doesnt make
you a doctor Anyone can fight a traffic ticket or even represent yourself in court. That doenst make you a lawyer, even if you
are good at it. Just as practicing magic doesn't always make you a witch. It takes study, patience, practice and many years
of trial and error to "be" anything.

In todays society things are done in an instant. Jobs, money, talant, love, and all sorts of things gotten in an instant.
People tend to not want to do what is neccessary to get the results they want. They want the results without the work.
Much to my dismay, it is harder and harder to find serious people willing to work seriously in anything.